My Love

I wish I had a fortune for my love --
I wish I had a flower for my love.

I wish I had the money so that I
Could spend each waking moment with my love.

I wish I had a farm of sheep and goats,
Alpacas, rabbits, chickens for my love.

I wish that I could fill our home with fresh-
Cut flowers full of fragrance for my love.

I wish that I could populate the world
With children I created with my love.

I wish to fill the world with Anna's songs --
I, Troy, will always sing of you, my love.

O Karl Marx

O Karl Marx! O Karl Marx!
How stupid is your theory?
O Karl Marx! O Karl Marx!
Dealing with you gets weary!

I don't know who'd believe in you
When nothing that you said was true.

O Karl Marx! O Karl Marx!
Your hate of life's so dreary!

Dragon of the Night

The moon's a half-closed dragon's eye. It stares
At me, surrounded by white scales all ringed
With palest red. The rest is hidden, bares
This one bright eye, I'm certain it is winged

As I am certain that it breathes this cloud
Surrounding it and spreading out the dark.
Perhaps he is the reason I'm allowed
These January shorts. He stares down, stark

Against the night, against the creeping cold
Caressing my new-shaven cheeks. I walk
A pace as brisk as this cool air. I'm bold
Before this dragon I now choose to stalk.

Orion aims, his arm drawn back. He'll hit
The target if he should let fly -- but I
Don't need his arrows -- they don't need to split
The scales. This victory he won't deny

Me on this night. I'll face the dragon down,
I'll tear him from the sky. This victory
Is mine alone. I'll take his flame and drown
It, make him bow his massive head to me.

This Is For You

These purple crayon drawings I have made
I made for you. I made it just this year.
I made it so you know I love you. Grade
It on a curve. Please take it lest I fear

I've lost, I'll lose your love. This poem sings
Its song for you. I made it just for you.
Like flowers in the spring, I hope it brings
You happiness to know my love is true.

Forgive these faded old cliches. The same
Old words for love that's daily new when I
Look at or think or dream of you are lame.
I made this just for you. I'll always try

To do a little better. Do you see
The tree of orange and green that I have drawn
To make you smile? Happy now? Agree
To love this crayon picture of the dawn,

These words that try too hard to say. I look
Upon our daughter, with the gifts she makes
For me, and I have realized the book
Of poetry I want to write, it takes

The form of what my daughter does with each
Improving picture that she makes. I made
All this for you. For you I'll always reach
Up higher so I'll never be afraid.

Cherubim

A golden eagle sit upon the fence post --
It stares, it watches, following the car
That pulls into the truck stop. Gravel crunches
Beneath the tires. It is the first sound
These women heard besides the engine's whir
Since entering the West Virginia mountains.
Not even the bull grazing in the pasture
Wants to disturb the silence. Car doors slam.
The women both get out, approach the truck
Stop door, starting at the ding! of the front
Door bell. A man looks up, a lion's mane
Of auburn hair cascading down his back.
He watches as the angels, children-faced,
Cross to the bar. He wonders what they ask,
Where they are going. Does he have a chance
Of joining them? Informed, they leave, and one
Stops, pausing just outside the door to pluck
The trumpet flower lily near the door.

The Guardians

Behold the army marching down the street –

They march in steady rhythm to the beat

Of drums and people cheering. Colored flags

Precede these warriors, proud as autumn stags.

Their leaders, politicians, lead the crowd

With rhythmic chants, a promise they’re endowed

With virtue, knowledge, wisdom – shepherds who

Will lead the people, give them what they’re due.

Police parade along the bulging edge

The crowd creates – a sniper’s on the ledge

To scope the crowd, a crowd who’d praise the man

If they’d known he was there, and praise the plan.

The President steps forth, the crowd goes wild –

Each man and woman feels themselves a child –

“These guardians before you will protect

You all, we members of the few, select.”

The crowd, they swore their love to men who made

Their path through loving power and who’d wade

Through bodies if they had to just to rule –

But votes are a more cost-effective tool.

So long as humans love strong leaders, force

To get their way, and lies they can endorse

Because they tell them to themselves, each hill

Will find a flock to bend to someone’s will.

And they’ll lead the parade, the army aft,

As politicians steer this human raft

Who trust that they’ll get everything they crave

While marching to their lime-lined self-dug grave.

Lost Messengers

Where have all the angels gone? The messengers
Seem to speak no more to us -- and those who fell
Speak too much -- we hear their cries like Icarus
Falling to the sea. It's wingless angles' songs,
Keyless and atonal, belching dark gray ash,
Pyroclastic flows that gray the sea and sky,
Hide the sun away, the hope that we forget.
Flying high on wings, the other angels soar,
Clear away the ash, and bring a hopeful song.
They know judgment melts your wings, but love and joy
Grow them long and broad so updrafts of warm air
Carry those with wings in an effortless ring,
Spiral, helixing up through the fractal clouds.
These, the angels bringing life and hope, oh where
Have these angels gone? Our messengers, come
Back, we need to hear from you again, your wings
Lifting us into the skies, up from the mud--
Sea and ash together mix in alchemy
Never giving gold. The gold bursts forth on peaks
Angel wings can read only on upward drafts --
Gold we need to prosper and invest to be
Fully human once again -- it's only wings,
Angel wings that can lift us, so we can see,
Hear and taste and smell and feel again like them,
Artists of ourselves again so we can gain
Wings we used to have and now can grow again.

America in Autumn

1.

The Texas summer doesn't end in late
September. Mississippi steams into
The winter. White camellias bloom. The gate
Of winter opens at a later date.

If only we could hold off winter through
This land -- but hatred brings a frigid cold
And threatens all we think and love and do.
The problems are not them; it's always you.

The real news always lies beneath the fold,
And Hollywood proclaims the moral law,
And truth is truth when everyone is polled,
And money is not worth its weight in gold.

I traveled north, avoiding hatred's claw
To find hawks spread their wings and soar the sky
To make a prey of other birds and draw
Us to a leader, to our ancient flaw.

The hawks of hatred in this land deny
That they're the same as southern eagles which
Destroy and kill, believing their own lie
That they're benevolent. They watch us die.

I do not understand why I should hitch
A ride with either one. The lowly crow
Is cleverer by far, creates a niche
So all may live and grow, rise from the ditch.

When winter comes, the birds all head below
To lands they know, which comfort them. The heat
Is comforting, the sun blankets a glow
That tells us all we really want to know.

But justice does not separate, delete
The differences or, lying, say they stand
With the oppressed but want to stay elite --
Thus virtue crashes wingless in defeat.

I do not want a world the same and bland,
Where seasons never come and every bird
Is of a feather, hawk and dove both land
Together on the feeder by command.

For far too long the best we get's absurd,
Defeathered chickens thrown up to be man.
No one believes in the truth of the word,
And sell as art a can that hold a turd.

Without our foundations in art we can
Not find our way out of deep poverty --
Our death is masked by a false feather fan.
When you make hatred, you don't have to ban.

We cannot soar without our liberty --
we cannot live a true life without fate --
We live by trimming branches off the tree
Of time, our lives -- we sing this to be free.

2.

I left my teaching job, disgusted at
Such arrogance and ignorance combined
With laziness, indiscipline. They're fat
And revel in disease, each one a brat.

I'd love to teach each one to be refined,
I'd love to cast off all their ignorance --
But that would mean they all would have to mind
And discipline will get you fired or fined.

Instead of having ego temperance,
Each thinks themselves a phoenix, each unique,
With every word a drop of gold, no sense
Has chance to charm a skull so dense.

Each one's a baby bird with open beak,
Complaining of the food that's brought to them --
They do not care for virtue, truth to seek
And crumble under each tiny critique.

Our students have a French disdain to hem
Their thoughts by generative, freeing rules,
Rejecting logic, knowledge, virtue, gem
Of beauty, making sense fall off its stem.

But what do we expect when ruled by fools
Like Richard Rorty, careless Stanley Fish,
The demagogue Paul Krugman with his tools
That change with who so rules -- they're mental ghouls.

This rampant anti-intellectualish
Elitist narcissism feathers out
Into the unformed mind, the empty dish
To destroy hope and every honest wish.

The state of education makes me doubt
The future will have more than cuckoos in
The nests, and vultures ruling them. This route
To foolish ignorance leaves no way out.

Perhaps I'm driven by the endorphin,
Perhaps I want to fly before I cry,
Perhaps I cannot stand to be worn thin,
Perhaps to leave right now would be a sin.

A sin? It is a sin to dare deny
The best and brightest knowledge so they'll grow,
To clip their wings so none of them can fly
So we won't have to hear the lowest sigh.

So I must leave -- to live, I have to go.
I cannot parrot ignorance and bear
A life of honor, virtue -- I must know
That I am more than fiery indigo.

I'm leaving teaching now because I care
And, caring's tearing feathers out of me
Until I'm singed and done. I do not dare
Remain -- I have to wander . . . anywhere.

I want to show the world's deep density
And show the world exactly where it's at --
But knowledge, wisdom brings complexity
And it's that beauty that will make us free.

3.

 My Asian friends all say this country's vast
And empty -- yes, but that's the freeway view --
The towns, the people have all been bypassed,
Ignored, on all of them long shadows cast.

The minor roads will show me what is new
To city-dusty eyes. A wide, wired land,
Endensified by satellites and through
Long cables, light where lonely birds once flew.

I walk away so I can take a stand
And trust that with my single flapping wing
I'll raise a hurricane, each windy band
Of ocean-clouds deep-churning up the sand.

I rent a storage space so everything
I own will have a place to stay. I pay
The next two years and hope the months will bring
The hope and wisdom that I need to sing.

I pay my last two months of rent. I'll stay
With who I can. Perhaps, when I return,
I'll find a mindless job without delay
And be a sandy ostrich each weekday.

I get into my Skylark and I turn
Onto the road. Escaping Dallas -- more,
Escaping all that I have learned to spurn --
I'll travel north. I must escape this urn.

I've shut and locked the ancient wooden door --
I have enough to grant me liberty --
I have no ties, no love that I adore,
Just visions of a syphilitic whore.

What choice have I with no prosperity?
With such a life relationships won't last.
I've made a choice of homeless poverty
In hopes that I will learn now to be free.

4.

The grackles rise into the Texas sky
In crashless patterns that emerge to show
That we can move together, unmoved by
Some master that will only make us die.

The scissor-tailed flycatchers show they know
With every ribbon-dance looped in the air
That life is really constant overflow,
That beauty is the life we need to grow.

The asphalt crumbles out before me, spare
Of paint and signs. Wood fences fence the grass
And stones and trees and fruiting prickly pear,
Perhaps to stop them wandering off somewhere.

I glance at birds and bushes as they pass --
To drive one contemplates but passing time --
A faster time than time spent fishing bass,
More timely than a universe of gas.

I slow my speed -- I won't commit the crime
Of blurring life with my blinders on,
Ignoring, ignorant that every clime
Has beauty in its fullness, health and grime.

Distinct, distinguished, seen before it's gone --
That's what each subject wants, what each deserves --
To find the hidden shape of dabbled fawn,
To never treat a person as a pawn.

 The present comes in potholes, all my swerves
Avoiding them and rabbits darting out
Onto the road that only slowly curves,
Distracting me from all this culture's pervs.

Perverse! That's what this culture is! Don't doubt
The pornographic impulse to erase
The individual person and to route
All beauty out -- that's what it's all about.

We've damned from life all elegance and grace --
Resentment, hatred we have deified,
Destroying what is sacred everyplace
And mutilating beauty's every face.

I've left but, leaving, I still cannot hide
The reason that I left -- I bring along
The emptiness, the pain with which I cried --
But had I stayed, I surely would have died.

How can external things become so strong?
But what's external to a social ape?
External, internal -- they both belong
In tensions telling us what's right and wrong.

The sun shadows my car, a hidden shape
Beneath a cloudless noon. Bird shadows dart
Across the road. I'll take this concrete tape
To northern fields of corn and wheat and rape.

A town appears -- it's small and white, a part
Of all the gravel dust all cars encloud
As they turn in to town. A broken cart
Invites me to part next to it to start.

A restaurant, a place without a crowd --
It's small and local, promises of home.
I'm certain that the people here are proud --
When I walk in, I feel I'm not allowed.

Three men, a pair of women crack the tome
Of innocence as they all stare me down:
Well, who are you? We don't like those who roam
And wander, detached from the sandy loam.

I try to smile at them to face the frown
That links their faces int one. I wait,
A waitress frowns, the same as all the town,
And sits me down, attends me like a clown.

An educated Southerner, I hate
To hate -- I've learned to love the other and
Refused to let my kin be second-rate --
And now both are entwined to make my fate.

The waitress, older than her years and bland
In dress and walk and speech, asks what I'll take
To drink. To drink! My tongue is dry, thick sand.
"Y'all got some lemonade?" displays my brand.

The menu. Heat, the stares -- I want to break
Out in a sweat. My body's getting wet.
I breathe behind the menu, calm the quake:
I order up a burger, fries, and cake.

The menu gone, I've nowhere else to get
Away from all the hostile stares. I lean
Back in my chair. I look until I've met
Each eye. I won't leave here with that regret.

Regret, regret -- I will not live so mean
A life, but choose the golden mean, where strife
Enstrengthens me and makes me hard and lean,
Since weakness grows up in a world too clean.

I get my food and ketchup, fork and knife
And drink, and then I'm on my paltry feast.
The hamburger is not exactly rife
With flavor, glutamate, thus lacking life.

I pay and leave, illusions now decreased
By having met the people on the earth
They never shared with me. Were I deceased
Not one would care about it in the least.

Among the people of this town my worth
Is less than the old homeless dogs that flee
Each passing car and give each man a berth --
I'm glad to leave this town that's lacking mirth.

I almost leave this town in ecstasy --
And as I leave I hear a grackle cry --
Not lack of money, but souls' poverty
Is what will grind us down so we're not free.

5.

I need to challenge my utopia --
Romantic nothing, nowhere, never -- where
Can fair truth really be? Its formula
Remains unknown to all the media.

The mother grizzly is not teddy bear,
The bobcat is no fuzzy kitty cat,
And keeping people different by a hair
Will never make a world that's good and fair.

Faux-generous treat all the world as flat
But cannot stand the people that they give
So many others' money to. Each brat
Just calls them (privately) all stupid, fat.

The cuckoo parasites so it can live
And fools the working birds to raise its young.
The cuckoo takes and takes, will never give --
And if you do not give, you get the shiv.

The people that I met, they work the dung
Into the earth to grow the food we eat --
But does that make them good, their being hung
By all elitists on the lowest rung?

The same race, still I felt I had to beat
The sun if I were to be safe. The day
Protected me, I know. I won't repeat
This sad mistake -- I will admit defeat.

Yes, my perception's a mistake -- the clay
That penetrates their feet has driven me
To understand that only those who pray
Together love together, do not stray.

I had to learn that reciprocity
Among the ones we love bring us to a
Place where we first had lived within the tree
Where we evolved, and came down to be free.

6.

How did I end up here, on 40? West
At almost 80. Vultures circling
Are all the life I see. A lonely breast
Of land slow-rises high above the rest.

I could not hear if anything should sing
With all this roaring wind that swirls my head
Into a dizziness that eddies bring,
And order that I am now coveting.

I drive along this road with growing dread
That I made a mistake in leaving home --
I drive until the sun before me's red
And only stop when I find evening's bread.

I spend the night alone again, the foam
That holds my head the only lap to lay
Down on. I reflect on the tall lamp's chrome:
The solitary wanderer should roam.

I'm on the road again at break of day --
Before the break, when Venus rises high --
I must drive West, drive West without delay --
Delayed for what, I really cannot say.

I feel an itch that's creeping up my thigh --
But I have chosen this, a life alone --
So love and lust I must myself deny --
Confirmed with a coyote's lonesome cry.

I think I must get off this road -- I groan
At all of these thoughts -- God, they're so clichéd.
But there's no place in this landscape of stone
For me to stop and write and, thus, atone.

I find a side road -- for too long I've strayed
By being on the highway with the crowd --
But I'm the only one I have betrayed
Because my time alone has been delayed.

And there upon the side road, my head bowed,
I wondered where my life was going to go --
There's no one, friend or family, I'd endowed
With knowledge of my goals. None I'd allowed.

I bypassed cows and horses, sheep, a crow.
I bypassed horses, ranches, fields and farms
I bypassed all I ever chose to know --
And then I saw a sign for Mexico.

I wondered about all its modest charms --
I wondered if the place was right for me --
But nothing set off my call-off alarms
And so I drove and stiffened up my arms.

I had a feeling I would find a sea
Of flowers waiting there and all life's harms
Would vanish. I will find a sprawling tree
And under it I finally will be free.

The Creation Myth

The nothing opened into information
Which gave birth to the energy that birthed
Electrons, photons, quarks. Then up and down
Each mated in threes which gave birth
To neutrons, protons, which then married each
With the electrons to give birth to atoms,
Named Hydrogen and Helium and even
To Lithium. They gathered into cities
And multiplied to form the other atoms,
Their Love for one another giving birth
To chemicals of many names, among
Them carbon chemicals whose love gave birth
To Life on Earth, who had been born out of
The Love of Metals born in the great Supernovae.

Calypso's Lament

Why did I let you go? Why did I set you free?
Why did I let you set out on the sea?
Odysseus, I had you here, right here with me.
Upon my island, here most faithfully

I kept you, love. My love, I love you still --
Why did I let you go? I know, I could go kill
That wife that calls you home. I'd have my fill
Of blood and vengeance. Sitting here upon this hill

I see the ocean waves that took my love away
From me. I live in sorrow he'd not stay
With me, and now each day will be today. Today
My life came to an end. I'll just decay

Here on this rock for all eternity,
Lamenting love's loss, lingering in poverty --
My wealth of time and power render me
A shadow of that vile wench Penelope.

Schumpeterian Poetry

Embrace destructive creativity
In all its lovely ambiguity.

Right Now

The roofs all team with Mexicans who sweat
To raise the roofs, celebrate, pay each debt.
The cold Pacific waves chill children's toes;
Along the boardwalk, spandex-covered hos
Make money for their pimps; moms look away.
The Congress passed a health care bill today.
A man sells children heroin at home.
A biker on his Harley revs to roam
The highways filled by semis lines like train
Cars, belching sulfur. Look, it smells like rain.
A man steps up to put his order in:
"Hamburger, fries, a scratch-off -- Did I win?"
A large committee, self-appointed, votes
To try to get a ban on coats of stoats
And goats, for fur is death and cats are slaves.
A surfing couple ride Hawaii's waves.
White steam erupts out of the nuclear
Volcano sending out its kitten purr
That hides the violence controlled within.
The Baptist preacher yells, "Repent your sin!"
A student dusts away the dirt to show
Tyrannosaurus bones, a fossil toe.
Talking on his new cell phone in the sun,
The father tries to get a tow; his son
Is getting sued by his coworker who
Became offended at a joke she blew
Off when she had a crush on him a week
Before, before he turned away his cheek.
Supporters of the President ask him
To pardon them their crimes -- but it looks grim.
Protesters fill the streets, demand tax cuts.
A man stands back, checks out the women's butts.
A woman left alone at a hotel
Calls up her boyfriend, wondering what she'll tell
Him since she can't get home. The clerks both laugh.
The skin of a man's eaten up by staph.
Some children play on monkey bars at school;
The saddest kid there always plays the fool.
The shift change idles car production not
A bit in Ford's new factory, the bot
Production line is moving fine; the men
And women working there are making ten
Times what the retail worker makes who stands
As long and has to deal with dumb demands.
The college students sit in silence, hope
The teacher asks them nothing; they can't grope
For answers out of what they haven't read.
The mayor's mistress just slipped out of bed.
The T.V.'s showing hockey, basketball
On CNN, whose painted, dressed-up doll
Delivers all the news in mere gabfests
That no one listens to, just watch her breasts.
A school commissioner has moved some cash
Into his bank account, strokes his mustache.
A pregnant twelve year old is visiting
Her baby's daddy, twenty-eight, their fling
Encouraged by her mother in the car.
An alcoholic stumbles from a bar.
A woman goes out for her interview
In miniskirt and tube top, though she knew
She'd never get a secretary job.
Some testing teens in town form a flash mob.
Police find pot they planted in a car.
A preteen dreams he'll be a football star.

The Gift of Usury

The wealth of nations can't exist
Without the gift of usury
The enemies of life resist
The timeful gift of usury

The most important things in life hold interest --
Without it we just flit about, no hold
On our attention made to last.

Oh, look! A shiny coin! A bubble!

We risk too much without an interest --
Without it we grow much too bold,
There's only present, without future, past.

We need the gift of usury.

I have ideas, but not the cash.
He has ideas, but not the dough.
We understand you have a stash --
Each of us want to have it, though.

I'll take it and I'll pay you back
The same amount that you gave me.
You say that he'll add to your stack,
So why should you give it for free?

I'll pay you more; he'll pay you more --
And on and on and on it goes.
He's reaches the end, you've shut the door
And now toward me the money flows.

He wouldn't take the risk that I
Would take, he lacked the confidence
To buy the time to even try,
But I bought it at mere percents.

And my return is greater than
The loan, and wealth has slowly grown
Because his loan made maybe can
Instead of lying like a stone.

I had the gift of usury.

Complex new orders come about
When energy is borrowed from
The universe, paid back in entropy.

And thus no life can come about
Without the interest of the world --
No growth without the gift of usury.

The enemies of life despise
Those with the gift of usury.
Destruction is the only prize
Without the gift of usury.

Attention

Portly woman, baggy clothes,
Shaven head and covered nose,
Covered by a light blue scarf
Tied behind her shaven head.
Walking, smoking. Looks of dread
Fill the faces of the few
Daring, daring not to glance,
Glancing nonetheless, a dance.
Wishing, wanting, desperate
It is cancer? Of the lip?
Of the nose? Or of the hip?
(Oh, but you do not fool me!)
Worry, wonder fill the eyes.
Bound feet, sandals, baggy thighs.
Cancer, that is what it must
Be, poor woman, look at her.
Look, yes, look, yes, look at her.

Yes, she says, yes, look at me!

Acting like I'm reading now
Sitting in the coffee shop.
Here she comes (I knew she'd stop),
Scarf around her shoulders now,
Nothing wrong (Just as I knew).

Look at me! she cries inside.

Now you've seen a soul that's died. 

Emergence

I walk across the birch log beam
With paper bark in white and cream
And feel the dancing drops of steam
That rise from that volcanic stream
That winds as a transparent seam
Down through this land. I make a ream
Of birch bark in this forest dream
To write this certain into seem
And make a symbol you can deem
Links writer, reader in a team
To understand my flowing theme
And transform it into a meme.

A Poet's Plea for Clarity

A poem's to communicate the past
So people want to hear it, make it last.

The future speaks in lines of poetry --
Interpret all most metaphorically.

And often human truth will bless and curse
Us only in the truest lines of verse.

But no good person would declare a war
In symbols or a complex metaphor.

Five hundred years to understand Shakespeare,
But not to learn he said, "You want a beer?"

Poetic ambiguity is fine,
But not to ask on what I want to dine.

So please don't think I'm being all that brash
When I ask please say just "Take out the trash."

Iced

You sit there, cold and bitter, tempting me
To taste your bitterness. Each rancid drop
Spreads sharp across my tongue. It's savory
And wet yet can't and won't make my thirst stop.

I won't have milk or sweetness moderate
The bitterness I love to taste each day.
I've grown accustomed to what I should hate --
Our tastes are shown to be such plastic clay.

But if I did not have this in my life
I'd lie in listless pools of laziness
And feel across my scalp a razor, strife --
And so this rancid bitterness I bless.

Without it I would have a life that's mean --
And thus I praise the washoff of a bean. 

Windmills

Does armor mean I don't have flesh? Perhaps
I donned this armor so I could protect
Myself. You don't think every hard word saps
My strength. You deny or do not detect
That I am deeply sensitive, sharp nerves
That die to fire with all my mind observes.

My love for you is like an iron plate
Across my chest, emboldening me
Against my fear of failing. I berate
Myself for failing yet to make you free
To do the things you wish to do. I chide
Myself because I work yet can't provide.

I have to steel myself against the thought
That every moment that I work on my
True work it's stolen and not truly bought.
I feel I steal my family blind; I'd die
To learn that it was true. There's no delight
In failing as your family's fearless knight.

My armor seems to strengthen me, but rusts
Inside -- I fear it will collapse, expose
The part that has to create art, that lusts
To make and make and make, a drive that grows
And always threatens me and those I love --
My hand should be clad in a workman's glove.

I want to be your noble knight, and I
Will make the sacrifices that I need
To make. An iron knight must always try
To do what's right, to do the noble deed.
I shake in fear that I will show some fear
And show that I am not what I appear.

Oh, rusty armor, can I count on you?
My wife, my life, my shield, I have to count
On you. I am too delicate, I have to count
On you. I am too delicate, it's true.
I fear I ride on Sancho Panza's mount
And not a noble steed. I've orchids on
My crest. Am I a knight or just a pawn?

I wonder, are my battles just? Or am
I just bullheaded? Do I sacrifice
The right or wrong things? Is my life a sham?
I fear my training is a joke. I'll slice
Myself to pieces, not an enemy.
What kind of knight have I turned out to be?

But, mounted on a donkey, rusted mail,
I have to fight to keep my family safe.
At least, I must allow myself to fail.
This rusty armor's tight -- I feel it chafe,
But know I have to keep it on so I
Ensure they live, though I may have to die.

Last Snow of Spring

When winter snows encrust the ground you are
The golden daffodil that brings the spring.
I have no hope without your golden promise --
Without you I fear what my life would bring.

Without you I would live in winter, cold
And unprotected, ignorant that I
Was even cold. How did I live so frigid
A life? How did I live without your gold?

My spring is here in you -- I see the birds
Returning in the sky. A robin lands
In one small patch of grass. I see a bee
Perch on your cup, give in to life's demands.

I need your warmth, your golden nectar sweet
Upon my tongue. I need the promise of
Warm summers yet to come with you, the flowers
You seed in me are watered by your love.

Beware the Misanthropes

Beware the one who wants to fix each man to fit
Them in society -- he is a misanthrope
Who hates all men for who they truly are.

Beware the one who wants to fit each man
To social goals -- he is a misanthrope
Who hates that men are free to live and choose.

Beware the one who wants to force each man
To synchronize their values so they're his --
He is a misanthrope who hates that men
Would dare to make a choice that is not his.

Beware the lovers of mankind who never met
A man they loved -- they all are misanthropes who hate
Men as they are in their immense diversity.

Beware egalitarians who'd force each man
To act as equals -- they are misanthropes who will
Machete everyone to reach their gruesome goals.

Beware the preachers of the just who do
Not preach of mercy -- they are misanthropes
Whose boots will never finish stomping you.

Beware the preachers of a better life on earth --
They all are misanthropes who will eliminate
The ones who keep utopia a nowhere place.

Beware romantics of the past and those who hate
The future, an expanding world -- they all
Are misanthropes who hate the civilized
And cosmopolitan and love the worst
Of tribal cruelty and racial hate.

Beware those on the left and right who'd put
You in a group -- they all are misanthropes
Who would deny you your humanity.

Beware all leaders who would gladly rule --
They all are misanthropes who do not think
You worthy of your life that you may live
It as you wish, in justice and in beauty.