Ending the Siege

There once was an old, wicked witch

Who with her old, warped, crooked switch

Made a castle a sponge

And then, with a lunge,

Made its moat into a mere ditch.

Elusive Mysterious Smell

There once was a goddess, Demeter,
And a man who thought he could beat her--
He turned on his charm
And showed her his farm--
But the daughter of time thought him fetor. 

Xenophilia

There once was a fuzzy brown beaver
Who feared that a snake would soon cleave her--
She met a serpent one day
Who convinced her to play
And now she won't let her friend leave her.

A Report from the Silk Road

An elephant out on the road
Tiptoed around an old toad
He tripped on a bra
Then laughed when he saw
The pearls pouring forth from his load

A Facebook Friend Shared This

Oh what do you think you will do
When nothing you read may be true?
This poem is fake--
And for goodness' sake,
Don't share it!  Don't you have a clue?

Writhing

By the road I once saw a dead deer --
It was swollen and writhing -- my fear
That the maggots would burst
After slaking their thirst
Came to life -- are those flies that I hear?

Creeping

He has such a tiny old prick
And he looks like he will make you sick
He crawls on your skin
He wants to get in
But you pluck off that nasty brown tick

The Quack

For diabetics there was a man said,
"You really should keep making bread."
Thus John Maynard Keynes
Gave us our full reigns --
"Who cares? In the long run we're dead!"

Aphrodite

There once was a goddess named Venus
A beautiful case of her genus --
Without all her trust
She'd grind you to dust --
But why off of love would you ween us?

Daniel's Song

It's Daniel, it's Daniel --
He's cute as a cocker spaniel --
He likes a warm hug,
He's cute as a bug --
When he's hungry he sure can yell!

Gigglesnort

Oh, what did the gigglesnort know?
And how did he reach his toe?
Yes, upward he came,
He's barely insane,
Thinks he is a rake or a hoe.

An elephondonder he'll be,
Ate from the posquato tree
'Til outward he'd roam
And go far from home
And see a sweet sister or three.

A storm -- from the cavern it came,
But the gigglesnort slightly was lame,
So he had to choose
The umbersol's use --
If over his head, or a cane.

His sister was a flapping flitter
Wet, transparent, and all quite atwitter
She seemed a bit sappy
But very galappy
Perched high on her branch on her sitter.

The gigglesnort satalked long with her
And covered her with mallow fur
Then he said he'd attend,
Declared he was her friend
Then said that he'd have to defer.

The gigglesnort let out a laugh
Then found himself cleanly in half
Then whipping his claws
And licking his jaws
He called out for all of his staff.

The gigglesnort, with them he stood,
The Biznel and the peckerwood,
But the blue bilderclaw
Just couldn't recall
Whether on hand or his feet that he stood.

I wonder whatever we'll do!
Asked the biznel and all of his crew
Around they all walked
And blatheringly talked
'Til everything shistened with dew.

In three days they had to decide
If soon they scrietly would hide
The googalypus down
In a tree of renown
 And claim they knew not where he'd flied.

Then they all looked around and they turned
And to their surprise they had learned
That in the days' time
With the sound of a mime
Both the gigglesnort and flitter had burned.

They sifted carlowly the ashes
But soon and away their hope dashes
For the gigglesnort's tooth
And the flitter's farnooth
Were laying in some of the lashes.

Around the dark ashes aloud
A singular came from the crowd
Then a burst of flame
Engulfed all the same
And the gigglesnort and flitter came 'round.

Where've you been? asked the peckerwood crew
But the siblings just smiled at the view --
So they went, holding hands,
Vanished into the sands
Each sharing a bright purple shoe.

Invertebrates

There once was a coward named Sony
Who had a quite friendly pet pony.
But a bully named Kim
Who always looked grim
"Convinced" Sony to trade for bologna. 

Health Insurance

The cost of insurance was such
Its price I could sadly not touch --
So I gave all of that
To a young bureaucrat
And now it costs three times as much!

Etre Sartre

In France was an atheist, superb
At finding new ways to disturb –
A communist brand,
A Nazi’s friend, and
Philosophy based on a linking verb.